~~welcome to my page~~

Sunday, December 04, 2011

raining inside

truly,i hate dis weekend. dis weekend makes me sick.


eventually, im back to my old tasnim..being loved and being left...its sooo me..maybe i was fate to be left aka dumped (damndamndamn)..indeed i dun like da word 'goodbye'..i dunno why..just hate it so much..T_T why theres such word in dis world.damn!.only god knows how it feels like..seriously i hate myself now!god help me! again..its TIME FOR HEALING.i need my soothing thing=((......seriously this time it hurts me a lotttt! what a bummer!

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

cupid's arrows

why on earth am i putting these pics anyway....LOL saje mood lovey dovey kli ni. please ignore dis post peeps ;D i've read dis, crush is when someone likes another, when they have butterflies, when they like hanging around the other...hurmm...i've tried and tried to walk away..but i know dis crush aint going away.huhu yet you got me hypnotized so mesmerized....damn!

Sunday, October 23, 2011


again i hate dis feeling rite now. i know dis is a bad sign for me. i have to blow it off before its starts spreading badly.huhu god keep me on da track.please..please..please (T_T) thanx baizura for all your supports.huhu i dont like dis person...datang dan pergi sesuka hati.damn! its soooo life..people come and go.i never expect them to come, but i never wish them to go...='( this couldn't be more unexpected..thinking of it, i'm aching...it hurts me a lot=(...dats y i hate dis feeling!!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Mr. Know It All

Its super Kelly freaking Clarkson.huhu. she's back with a bang! love dis song much! its soooo true only i know everything about myself! and i wont let u tell me different! ...its just they act like they know u - but they dont know u at all.huhu well peeps, u just dedicate dis song to everybody who thinks that they have the right to dictate to u. huhu gosh.. heard a loads of time today!!! amazing song! i cant get enough of it!

Monday, October 03, 2011

The beginning in the end

I am now officially graduated from usm. September, 25th was my C-Day (which is last week but I do have time to dash it off this week.huhu sorry.my bad). The day was so-so.huhu (cause I don’t have any pic with my parents (something came up and they gotta go..huhu) I do expected this person will come but he’s not. He started work already. But I didn’t feel that bad because these 3 angels did come. My bffs (~_^) huhu I luvvvvvv ‘em soooo muchhhh! Thanks fizah n kakcik n kinahros for coming on my C-day. Y’all make my day mesmerizing and astounding. You guys are just awesome!(will update pic later)

Thursday, September 29, 2011


its not my fault if u think this abbreviation stands for something else. im just saying it because i wanna say it.i'm soooo pissed off!!! damndamndamn!...macam2 orang ade lam dunia ni~~i feel that bad because he's my friend kot aka my colleague..doesnt feel bad at all if he did tell me da truth.but da fact is HE DID NOT..mmg watdaheck btui...gerammmmm aku!choiii!!!

Monday, September 12, 2011


huhu i got uninvited stalker...'wmf' stop stalking my blog!=p lalalala

Friday, July 22, 2011


It's hard to walk away when you know that things are never gonna get better even if you go.

Gone for good. Cry for nothing....

Monday, July 11, 2011


Ah well, some people just need a break and some space ;)
See ya people around.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

trail of tears

..........solemnly i hate when it drops because of men........
what u give u get back.....men hurt u,men heal u......its s000 life ='(

only time

Who can say
where the road goes
where the day flows
only time..
And who can say
if your love grows
as your heart chose
only time..
Who can say
why your heart sighs
as your love flies
only time..
And who can say
why your heart cries
when your love lies
only time...

Who can say
when the roads meet
that love might be
in your heart
And who can say
when the day sleeps
if the night keeps
all your heart

Night keeps all your heart...

Who knows - only time
Who knows - only time
Who knows - only time

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

zero hour

today i got interview in uitm kelantan.huhu god i cant control my 'butterfly'.its scattered everywhere in my stomach.huhu cuak dowh.. i dont know why...but i'll try my best and giving all out! guys, please pray for me. thanx.=) n i would like to thank to this person 4 helping me find out about 1 Malaysia..huhu its kind of him..thanx dude!. God bless u!

Sunday, May 08, 2011

random thought (part 5)

unimportant. i hate dis feeling rite now. i knew dis would be bad sign for me. damn! life is unpredictable. A, u help me a lot throughout da years n i almost fall for u. but, B,u came n surprised me. that was so funny. (begging u better stay away from me otherwise i'd fall for u again.shit!) good bye old days. so long old friends. the holiday is here, we gradually change. n da most, i learn that to love is not sinful but to have contacts is. love without contacts is just as painful as loosing.god.i cant believe i say dis.huhu im aching. T_T

Saturday, May 07, 2011

i need a doctor

"I'm about to lose my mind
You've been gone for so long
I'm running out of time
I need a doctor
Call me a doctor
I need a doctor, doctor
To bring me back to life"

epic song ever! i luv da song...n if u dont u gonna need a doctor;p dis is da best ever i heard from dr dre n eminem. thnx 4 da song. i really need a doctor rite now.huhu T_T

fast five

god fast five is just awesome! i give u 5 star!! my Han (sung kang) is back. i tot he died in fast three.hukhuk vin diesel vs the rock. they're just like brother.huhu (technically yes sbb dua2 botak.haha) i bet fast five is going to be a hell of a movie..i cant wait for fast six.lolz no wonder its opening debut $80 million dollars..huhu god job though.

Thursday, May 05, 2011


Oh My Lord! please keep me on the track. Ya Allah tetapkanlah hatiku. kinda lost.huhu seriusly. *sigh* T_T

Tuesday, April 26, 2011


dear myself, dont be sad if u are an option. my lecturer used to say, "you have a lot of choices but u dont have choice actually"..huhu thats what life is all about. well, somehow no one prefers to be an option.perhaps, enough is enough. im tired of feeling bad.really=(( i'd rather feel nothing.its better, way easier as well.and i think my heart knows things that my mind cant explain.huhu (T_T) the thing is, im frustrated. frustrated to myself. hopefully this is not a bad sign.='(

Thursday, April 21, 2011


i do envy with dis person. dis person is very polite person. dis person had such good attitude. make me hanker for a person like dis. god...only YOU know. T_T (baguihnya la dia nih...leh jatuh hati ak..haha)


written in the stars

gosh dis song stuck in my head.i luv da song.'written in the stars' reminds my upbringing.huhu yeah dis song is basically telling u dat ur future is written in the stars so keep fighting for it n will come to u someday (of course our fate is already written by HIM) but 1 thing that make me keen on about dis song is he(da singer) did mentioning how money makes people go evil n change in a very bad way. everyone has dream to chase for money, but eventually money leads us no where which is totally utterly true. people gone crazy.damn! enjoy da song though.

"Oh Written In The Stars
A Million Miles Away
A Message To The Main
Seasons Come And Go
But I Will Never Change
And I'm On My Way"
-by Tinie Tempah ft Eric Tuner

im merely human.*seek HIS forgiveness* T_T

Monday, April 18, 2011


i get my life back..i officially ended my degree life. April 15 is independence day 4 me(is it?..lets just pretend..haha).huhu freedom is finally in my hands but it doesnt taste as sweet as i imagined. i dont why. i was like....eh abih dah blja?huhu..deng! but the 'kids' (refer 2 my students) do touched me deeply. seriously. i was so touched by them. though they a bit naughty but they do know how 2 appreciate people. God bless 'em! i'm speechless bcoz i do nothing but they gave me something which i do feel like...oh dear..dis is sooo sweet...*love* n now i feel awkward bcoz today is monday but im not in school anymore...huhu..deng...missing my students much!x0x0 T_T

Saturday, April 09, 2011

thank you Allah

hari ini saya sangat gembira, gembira yang tak terkata (btol ke ayt ak nih..huhu) sebab rezeki saya sangat murah hari ini. pagi, cikgu sekolah belanja makan pagi. tengahari, pelajar belanja makan tengahari, malam, kawan saya pula belanja.....(err..knp ak rs cam pelik jerk ayat bm ak..aduss..sori lerr kwn2..paper bm ak B+ jerk.haha) xkisah lah. jnji ak hepi arini.haha terharu pon ade. syukur alhamdulillah.^_^ *say ur prayer*

'i have a dream'

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness
Still another mile....
(make me ponder..HE never leave me behind...huhu *astaghfirullahalazim*)

Sunday, April 03, 2011


okey. enough is enough. these people drive me crazy. sape2 tlg bg ak kawen skng jgk. ptutnye kne kawen dulu sblm msuk practical.huhu.damn!

Friday, April 01, 2011


today a student came 2 me...all of sudden, she pinches me on the cheek...god im shocked! i was like.....errr....okey...n then she said, teacher u r sooo cute! geram sy tgok (god she's a les or wat..haha)....in front of da public okey...huhu so scary..(pelik2 bdk sek nih..huhu)

Tuesday, March 29, 2011


hye peps. actually i got a lot of stories 2 share with but i have no time to write it rite now. dis week n next week will be my hectic weeks.huhu so plis pray 4 me. i neeeeeddd ur prayers. thnx guys! luv ya!
***plis pray 4 my 3rd observation aka last observation.huhu (-.-")

Tuesday, March 22, 2011


please keep your distance closer. im falling into it. coz all my save-up wishes start coming out. here is the deepest secret nobody knows, the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide. and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart so I carry your heart with me. hoping miracle will happen. please stay by my side. im drowning. pull me out! damn! ('',)


i found this from my fren's blog..quite interesting n juz wanna share
with u guys,

6 perkara Allah sembunyikan

Allah SWT selesai menciptakan Jibrail a.s dengan bentuk yang cantik, dan Allah menciptakan pula baginya 600 sayap yang panjang , sayap itu antara timur dan barat (ada pendapat lain menyatakan 124, 000 sayap). Setelah itu Jibrail a.s memandang dirinya sendiri dan berkata:
"Wahai Tuhanku, adakah engkau menciptakan makhluk yang lebih baik daripada aku?."
Lalu Allah swt berfirman yang bermaksud.. "Tidak"
Kemudian Jibrail a.s berdiri serta solat dua rakaat kerana syukur kepada Allah swt. dan tiap-tiap rakaat itu lamanya 20,000 tahun.
Setelah selesai Jibrail a.s solat, maka Allah SWT berfirman yang bermaksud. "Wahai Jibrail, kamu telah menyembah aku dengan ibadah yang bersungguh-sungguh, dan tidak ada seorang pun yang menyembah kepadaku seperti ibadat kamu, akan tetapi di akhir zaman nanti akan datang seorang nabi yang mulia yang paling aku cintai, namanya Muhammad.' Dia mempunyai umat yang lemah dan sentiasa berdosa, sekiranya mereka itu mengerjakan solat dua rakaat yang hanya sebentar sahaja, dan mereka dalam keadaan lupa serta serba kurang, fikiran mereka melayang bermacam-macam dan dosa mereka pun besar juga. Maka demi kemuliaannKu dan ketinggianKu, sesungguhnya solat mereka itu aku lebih sukai dari solatmu itu. Kerana mereka mengerjakan solat atas perintahKu, sedangkan kamu mengerjakan solat bukan atas perintahKu."
Kemudian Jibrail a.s berkata: "Ya Tuhanku, apakah yang Engkau hadiahkan kepada mereka sebagai imbalan ibadat mereka?"
Lalu Allah berfirman yang bermaksud. "Ya Jibrail, akan Aku berikan syurga Ma'waa sebagai tempat tinggal..." Kemudian Jibrail a.s meminta izin kepada Allah untuk melihat syurga Ma'waa. Setelah Jibrail a.s mendapat izin dari Allah SWT maka pergilah Jibrail a.s dengan mengembangkan sayapnya dan terbang, setiap dia mengembangkan dua sayapnya dia boleh menempuh jarak perjalanan 3000 tahun, terbanglah malaikat jibrail a.s selama 300 tahun sehingga ia merasa letih dan lemah dan akhirnya dia turun singgah berteduh di bawah bayangan sebuah pohon dan dia sujud kepada Allah SWT lalu ia berkata dalam sujud:
"Ya Tuhanku apakah sudah aku menempuh jarak perjalanan setengahnya, atau sepertiganya, atau seperempatnya? "
Kemudian Allah swt berfirman yang bermaksud. "Wahai Jibrail, kalau kamu dapat terbang selama 3000 tahun dan meskipun aku memberikan kekuatan kepadamu seperti kekuatan yang engkau miliki, lalu kamu terbang seperti yang telah kamu lakukan, nescaya kamu tidak akan sampai kepada sepersepuluh dari beberapa perpuluhan yang telah kuberikan kepada umat Muhammad terhadap imbalan solat dua rakaat yang mereka kerjakan.... .."
Marilah sama2 kita fikirkan dan berusaha lakukan... Sesungguhnya Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan enam perkara iaitu :

* Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan redha-Nya dalam taat. * Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan murka-Nya di dalam maksiat. * Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan nama-Nya yang Maha Agung di dalam Al-Quran. * Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan Lailatul Qadar di dalam bulan Ramadhan. * Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan solat yang paling utama di dalam solat (yang lima waktu). * Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan (tarikh terjadinya) hari kiamat di dalam semua hari. (http://jaipk.perak.gov.my)

"Hnya kepada Engkaulah kami sembah dan mohon pertolongn" - Surah Al Fatihah:5.


aaaaa...tensen ak ngn dak2 skola nih. pulun btui bdk2 nih duk cri fb ak..huhu sbb tu la spnjg LM nih ak x buh gmbr btui kt fb...i have to private everything..huhu aigooo..bkn xmo approve,tp maleh lagi..nt bla da abih LM blehla nk add..haha mcm2 bdk2 nih..y plng x leh blah ade plak y mtk nk jd boifren cgu..adoyaiii tolong2..somebdy help me...x phm ak ngn bdk2 nih ..sbb tu la ak nk kawen 4bln praktikal nih. haha (menggerunkan pon ada bdk2 nih) haishhh...

Sunday, March 20, 2011

random thought (part 4)

there's no reasons to miss someone. n there's no limit to miss people who we really care. so, lets us just miss whoever we wanna miss. otherwise im not miss 'no way, its all good' huhu. (suke ati ler nk rindu sape pon kan) aigooo T_T (saya rindu semua orang..adoiii...macamne nih..tolong...!!)

Thursday, March 17, 2011


i'm at high tense all of sudden huhu i will be facing a hectic week for dis coming 2 weeks. huhu dis 2 weeks will be like hell for me because first is my last observation n second is finishing my CC (Competent Communication) - the last 2 tough toastmaster's assignments. huhu i really really need strength. my beloved frens n blog readers do pray for me T_T..huhu i really need ur doa. pliss pliss pliss *bagging like hell* i luv u guys. thanx a lot!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011


what i feel now----->i'm so darn bored - tired of waiting - feel like wanna eat icecream at beach - wat spa & massage pon ok gak lol - no frens to hang out-'esei students tak marking lagi,MALAS nk marking' - planning to do LP for da whole week tp haram x buat2 lg - wanna prepare for my toastmaster assignments 9 n 10 (quite tough though) huhu kill me!shit - kinda miss someone(tp sure dia x miss ak, useless! - miss parents n home, kinda homesick - feel like wanna quit study nk duk umh tgu org msuk minang if possible n if any la h0ho - lastly i dun wanna do anything.nk tdo jek. qada y lps2. huhu . sabar2. 3 minggu ja lagi duk skola tuh. aaaaaa..*pengsan* (sbb byk sgt pkir.haha)

Saturday, March 12, 2011

excuse me,

somebody is mad at me. dis is insane n doesnt make sense at all. i never know until yesterday i know she's mad at me. u guys know why? huhu just because her boyfriend is always talking with me. watdaheck! helloo my dear young lady, u r 17..so your so-called boyfriend. aiyoo pkir logik lerr.. u r all seventeen okey! why da hell u wanna get jealous?? u r all my students n having chatting or talking with students is normal. i talk to everybody k0t. not only him. you think i'm dat crazy to steal ur 'so-called' boyfren. cmon laa i'm 24 okey. n getting married.(err..yeke..calon pon xdak nk married apa..huhu xpe mnipu sunat.hoho)..ape2 jek bdk2 nih. pening ak.huh.nonsense!

school break

wanna know what's way better than 1 million bucks n getting free stuffs???huhu of course SCHOOL HOLIDAYS. i'm so darn release. *teacher goes mad with excitement jumping n screaming!* yippee akhirnya saat2 y dinanti2 muncul jua. huhu i wanna sleep for da whole week. lol XD i wanna forget about da school for dis coming week. *no way*coz i'm already start missing my school* damn!

Sunday, March 06, 2011


staying in da place which we couldnt stand is darnly hard. It’s like a cat jumped over the empire state building n banging our head against da wall everyday.its hard...duh! who ever may not dare to think dat i cannot survive in such dis condish...but having frens like 'em who can cheer me up is better than ever..EVER..juz wanna say THANK YOU VERY MUCH to them for coming along my way n creating a colorful painting in my life (esp my unilife). Thanks 2 my special visitors for coming hangin' around with me whenever i stucked in dis suck island (USM + penang).i have another 1 month to go. no more usm. no more penang.yeah.

muchass graciass guys!

Thursday, March 03, 2011

'sedetik lebih'

by Anuar Zain
OST Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa

Setiap nafas yang dihembus
Setiap degupan jantung
Aku selalu memikirkanmu

Dalam sedar dibuai angan
Dalam tidur dan khayalan
Aku selalu memikirkanmu

Ternyata ku perlukan cinta dari dirimu sayang
Barulah terasa ku bernyawa

Kasihku…ku amat mencintai kamu
Kerana kau beri erti hidup
Ku kan terus mencinta sedetik lebih selepas selamanya

Di kala penuh ketakutan dengan badai kehidupan
Ku bersyukur adanya kamu

Biarlah kehilangan semua yang dimiliki di dunia
Asal masih adanya kamu...

KRU Publishing Sdn Bhd

errr..why am i posting dis song??errr..im not in 'jiwang' mood neither. haha sje suke2. jz like da song. but... actually i want 2 dedicate 2 someone..urmm..

Monday, February 21, 2011

student oh student(part 2)

i was s000 amazed of some of my students who are 'mix' (i mean kacukan la) some of them are 'chindian', 'indlay', 'chinlay' (even bumiputera like kadazan pon ade y kacuk ngn india, jadila 'kadadia' huhu) it's just not only that, the thing is they do know 3 or 4 languages( bhs cina, bhs india, bhs melayu n english) which is i think 'wow'..okey that was bonus point for them so they don't have to toil and moil like hell learning all that languages.*a bit jealous to them*huhu besides, we will be deceived by their face. seriously. when i look at them i was like, muke cam melayu tp india rupenye tp ckp cine aiyooo..pstu there's another person muke cam india tp nme cine then ckp mak aii pekat giler loghat utara die..huhu a bit funny huh. but thats the fact. In Penang there are a lot people like that (sbb sblm nih x penah jmp kn, juz tau theoretically jer.tu y cam teruja skjp.huhu) Allah is Great. Allah The Almighty.T_T HE did create us in various type and forms so we will know each other and then PRAISE HIM a lot.that's what makes us close to HIM. So, the one who should i amazed most is HIM. The Only One our LORD, ALLAH SWT. Have i praise HIM today? *seek forgiveness from Allah* forgive me for being astray and always wandered lost in the dark. forgive me for never thought about all the things you have given to me. I rarely thanked to you.Forgive me and forgive all the muslimin n muslimat.T_T ^^^^muhasabah diri^^^^^

Sunday, February 20, 2011


kind of miss my family now.lately i miss them a lot.they are everything to me.we will stick together no matter what.

F.A.M.I.L.Y is one of the strongest words anyone can say, because the letters of FAMILY means Father And Mother I Love You! ♥ :)
May Allah Bless us. Amin.

Thursday, February 17, 2011


dear blog,

up till now, teaching class 4E is my biggest problem.

sekian, terima kasih.


***i need psychotherapy class.not for my students but 4 me.somebody please help me.='(

Monday, February 14, 2011

rehabilitation part2

I kind of hate to see my body and my face right now. Really.(huhu sy da jadi si buruk rupa dah=(() like one of the abuse victim.huhu too scared to look. But…this is only the physical outlook. Why on earth do I care this super petty things?..i too worried the scratches outside my body but have I ever worried the sratches ‘inside’ my body (HATI). There are like millions scratches(karat2 jahiliyah) ‘inside’ and I just too blind to see it. In fact I don’t even wanna see it ‘cause I know I’ve across the borderline. and I feel like there’s no way to turn back. I was so confused and only darkness embracing me.=’((

إِنَّ اللهَ لاَ يَنْظُرُ إِلَى صُوَرِكُمْ وَأَمْوَالِكُمْ وَلَكِنْ يَنْظُرُ إِلَى قُلُوبِكُمْ وَأَعْمَالِكُمْ

Maksudnya : Sesungguhnya Allah tidak melihat rupa paras kamu dan harta-harta kamu, akan tetapi Allah melihat hati kamu dan amalan-amalan kamu.

Hadis sahih riwayat Imam al-Bukhari dan Muslim.

Nevertheless, HE did coming. Only just in unexpected way which is only me whether or not to realise it..….i seek forgiveness from Allah. O Allah please forgive me. please please please..T_T But I know Allah loves me.(of course HE loves u t00) .Like HE always do. How? By giving me some ‘tests’. A friend of mine always said to me HE tests, means HE loves u. because HE got jealous seeing u spent most of your time with other things instead of being with HIM. Huhu again, I seek Allah’s forgiveness. I’m too careless(lagha). I’m merely human. Cannot run from doing mistakes. *I seek forgiveness from Allah*

~~in rehabilitation phase ~ please give me your guidance ~~

(Our Lord! we have indeed believed: forgive us, then, our sins, and save us from the agony of the Fire)

[surah Ali' Imran; 3:16]

Sunday, February 13, 2011


i got shocked news juz now. err..actually not dat shocked, i think dis is the funniest thing ever. huhu instead of being adik ipar, jadi kakak ipar plak dah. x ker klakar tuu. h0h0 pndai btui umi wat lawak. i know dis not gonna happen. da thng is joke y umi wat nih tickle my bone. ridiculous! kompem2 la kne reject. adoyaiii. lawak2. (kne bt back up plan nih..huhu kompem p isi borg kt british council after dis. so i can fly nxt year.bln januari jgk. h0h0h0h0)

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Mr. Charlie

Thank you to Mr. Charlie aka Paederus fuscipes Curtis(scientific name) for 'kissing' me badly horrendously n beastly.damn! i got scratches all over my body. (abes calar2 wajahku y suci ini. huhu cali kejammmmm) it was like burning. pedih=(( i can't even touch on it. buruk daa muke ngn tangan ku. T_T i hate penang! or even worst, i hate usm.


somebody got mad at me. huhu i don't laa. why is everybody get mad at me lately. starting this february i was like an annoying person. i don't know why. (maybe effect LM kot..huhu) i hurt them. And I realize that everything I do is affecting the people around me. it just happen like that. gosh! really bizzare. i feel like out of sorts. really depressing and dejecting. (da la sdey ngn 1st observation T_T) hope i'll find the cure. i need my personal doctor.huhu

*******Mr. MZ please sing Insya-Allah, it could be somewhat cheerie thingy for me.huhu
*******So I wanted to take this time out to apologize to everyone for things that I've done without realize it or not.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

the one n only

i started missing 'my love'..the one and only. (tu la ade depan mate wat tatau, dah jauh mule la duk trigt2)damn! i'm annoying n bothersome person. i don't know how to appreciate people. but rather treat people like a heartless person. again damn! serve me right! please forgive me T_T i'm merely human cannot run from doing mistakes. i'm so sorry. i never meant to do so. sorry ='(( i need someone right now.......i'm super pathetic one! T_T

Wednesday, February 09, 2011


my first observation was suck! thanks 2 my students for ruin it. congrats to me for choosing the wrong topic today. and congrats to me for allowing my students speak Malay in class while the lecturer was there. wrong topic and wrong time. my voice is t0000 slow and soft (which is even me myself don't know which part is soft 'cause i'm like yelling and shouting at them every time in my class). so overall, everything suck! i was like to stop my degree here right now. so no more observation.huhu (cmne bley amek kos cigu nih...uwaaaa sdey tahap gaban....sdey sdey sdey. ) i was like to cry the whole day. **col (crying out loud..huhu) ='((

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

random thought (part 3)

its been a while.....almost 2 years dis person didnt give me a call. all of sudden few days ago dis person did. nothing bad about it just wondering.....huhu but dun worry no hard feeling, just remind me to something not belong to me. somehow i reminisced dis story.


Salman Al Farisi merasakan memang sudah waktunya menikah. Seorang wanita Ansar yang dikenalnya sebagai wanita mukminah lagi solehah juga telah mengambil tempat di hatinya. Tentu saja bukan sebagai kekasih. Tetapi sebagai sebuah pilihan dan pilihan yang dirasa tepat. Pilihan menurut akal sihat. Dan pilihan menurut perasaan yang halus, juga ruh yang suci.

Tapi bagaimanapun, ia merasa asing di sini. Madinah bukanlah tempat kelahirannya. Madinah bukanlah tempatnya tumbuh dewasa. Madinah memiliki adat, rasa bahasa, dan rupa-rupa yang belum begitu dikenalnya. Ia berfikir, melamar seorang gadis pribumi tentu menjadi sebuah urusan yang pelik bagi seorang pendatang. Harus ada seorang yang akrab dengan tradisi Madinah berbicara untuknya dalam khitbah. Maka disampaikannyalah gelegak hati itu kepada sahabat Ansar yang dipersaudarakan dengannya, Abu Darda’.

”Subhanallaah.. wal hamdulillaah..”, girang Abu Darda’ mendengarnya. Mereka tersenyum bahagia dan berpelukan. Maka setelah persiapan dirasa cukup, beriringanlah kedua sahabat itu menuju sebuah rumah di penjuru tengah kota Madinah. Rumah dari seorang wanita yang solehah lagi bertaqwa.

”Saya adalah Abu Darda’, dan ini adalah saudara saya Salman seorang Persia. Allah telah memuliakannya dengan Islam dan dia juga telah memuliakan Islam dengan amal dan jihadnya. Dia memiliki kedudukan yang utama di sisi Rasulullah Shallallaahu ’Alaihi wa Sallam, sampai-sampai beliau menyebutnya sebagai ahli bait-nya. Saya datang untuk mewakili saudara saya ini melamar putri anda untuk dipersuntingnya.”, fasih Abu Darda’ bicara dalam logat Bani Najjar yang paling murni.

”Adalah kehormatan bagi kami”, ucap tuan rumah, ”Menerima anda berdua, sahabat Rasulullah yang mulia. Dan adalah kehormatan bagi keluarga ini bermenantukan seorang sahabat Rasulullah yang utama. Akan tetapi hak jawab ini sepenuhnya saya serahkan pada puteri kami.” Tuan rumah memberi isyarat ke arah hijab, yang di belakangnya sang puteri menanti dengan segala debar hati.

”Maafkan kami atas keterusterangan ini”, kata suara lembut itu. Ternyata sang ibu yang bicara mewakili puterinya. ”Tetapi karena anda berdua yang datang, maka dengan mengharap ridha Allah saya menjawab bahwa puteri kami menolak pinangan Salman. Namun jika Abu Darda’ kemudian juga memiliki urusan yang sama, maka puteri kami telah menyiapkan jawapan mengiyakan.”

Jelas sudah. Keterusterangan yang mengejutkan, ironis, sekaligus indah. Sang puteri lebih tertarik kepada pengantar daripada pelamarnya! Itu mengejutkan dan ironis. Tapi saya juga mengatakan indah karena satu alasan; reaksi Salman. Bayangkan sebuah perasaan, di mana cinta dan persaudaraan bergejolak berebut tempat dalam hati. Bayangkan sebentuk malu yang membuncah dan bertemu dengan gelombang kesedaran; bahawa dia memang belum punya hak apapun atas orang yang dicintainya. Mari kita dengar ia bicara.

”Allahu Akbar!”, seru Salman, ”Semua mahar dan nafkah yang kupersiapkan ini akan aku serahkan pada Abu Darda’, dan aku akan menjadi saksi pernikahan kalian!”♥♥♥

Cinta tak harus memiliki. Dan sejatinya kita memang tak pernah memiliki apapun dalam kehidupan ini. Salman mengajarkan kita untuk meraih kesedaran tinggi itu di tengah perasaan yang berkecamuk rumit; malu, kecewa, sedih, merasa salah memilih pengantar –untuk tidak mengatakan ’merasa dikhianati’-, merasa berada di tempat yang keliru, di negeri yang salah, dan seterusnya. Ini tak mudah. Dan kita yang sering merasa memiliki orang yang kita cintai, mari belajar pada Salman. Tentang sebuah kesedaran yang kadang harus kita munculkan dalam situasi yang tak mudah.Sergapan rasa memiliki terkadang sangat memabukkan..

Rasa memiliki seringkali membawa kelalaian. Maka menjadi seorang manusia yang hakikatnya hamba adalah belajar untuk menikmati sesuatu yang bukan milik kita, sekaligus mempertahankan kesedaran bahawa kita hanya dipinjami. Inilah sulitnya. Tak seperti seorang tukang parkir yang hanya dititipi, kita diberi bekal oleh Allah untuk mengayakan nilai guna karuniaNya. Maka rasa memiliki kadang menjadi sulit ditepis.

Monday, February 07, 2011

student oh student

i don't know how to describe this feeling now. i start 'meet'ing my students everywhere.huhu i mean in penang la. wherever i go i still meet them. haishhh (bahaye nih..xleh nk wat jahat depan students.haha)
they were like, "hai ticer...ticer kuar ngn sape...ticer nk p mna....blablabla" huhu x tau nk hepi ke nk sedih ke ble students tgur tgh jalan.huhu..errr... coz when i met them i will act like a friend. but in school i did treat them as students. really like a student. huhu so it was like....am i have 2 personality?? or being hypocrite?? or double characters....huhu pelik2.

btw, its good of them la sbb rjin duk btegur sapa me tgh jalan.haha but be out of my way. juz feel unease. still dont get it why.err sori yea my studs. luv ya!hehe

Sunday, February 06, 2011


i ruined my holidays. instead of being a marvelous hols it turned up to horrendous one. siao liao. aigoo T_T please forgive me='( i am what i am. i'm sick of being compared. i'm sorry. i got my own style n my own life. stop judging me!i'm sorry peeps 4 being such an annoying person. i luv people in my own way. sorry again.

mode: ggrrrr (angry)

f*** u pcik!!!!! tua x sdar dri.ak benciiii nek bas rapid.rmai gilerrr org.mai mna la smua mnusia nih.pstu hmpit2 org.wtf!!mmg sial la pcik tuh.helo ak pkai bju kurung okey.aaarrrgghhhhhh geram2. benci2. im gonna give BIG F word to that damn old man!!!!!.budusss

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


god i hate flu. huhu its coming again. penang is freaking hot hot hot. not dat kind of hot, but da other one of hot. i got flu+headache+ sore-throat = complete combination. so ape lagi, tidoooo..zzzzzz huhu i think for class 4E i want 2 request microphone from pengetua, so no need to deadly shout. huhu god like wanna give f word...haishh i have to crack my brain whenever teaching them...help2 plis2

Monday, January 24, 2011

mode : blur

instead of blur i'm blearing now='( huhu why must this happen to me now='( i am very worsted and downhearted. Aaaaargghhh...why why n why...sob3 T_T :( ***frown mood***
somebody please....help me:(

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

i'm sick

thank you very much to all my students for make me sick. aigoo..huhu i got symptoms tido-tak-lena, mandi-tak-basah, makan-tak-kenyang because of them. Semua ni kerana my 'lovely' students. i love my students.tettttt.huhu somebody please help me. huhu please........='(

Monday, January 17, 2011

mode:love teaching

i cant believe this.huhu i started to love teaching.thanx to Allah for giving me such good and obliging students. they are all tender hearted only just a bit naughty. BUT sometimes they act like an evil.huhu teaching form 4A and 4E make me like tuttt...aarrghh because they are 2 obviously different classes and need a lot of tranquil and forbearing.huhu O Allah please help me. Thank u Allah. ok, i gotta go. my new 'hubby' is calling me. oh LP i love u. Thanx 4 make me 'sick'.damn!

Saturday, January 15, 2011


Woww. 5 posts in a day. What am i? blog maniac? Haha nope. only-ordinary-girl-who-don’t-know-where-t0-burst out.huhu ***nasib ko ler wahai en.blog bile anda kini mnjadi tempat untuk buang perasaan yg bukan2 ni..n where freedom of speech is applied, bersabar yea utk 4 bulan nih. H0h0***

This New Year makes me wanna be a new tasnim.yup.i got new missions, new perspectives and new resolutions. theres so many ‘hak’ that I left before.huhu n yet, this awful me didn't manage to fulfill any of the ‘hak’ till now..n even worst, this awful me feels like she wants to give up on everything and just settling everything down n let it be just like what it should be instead of working towards what it should be..what a useless her!

The starts of a new year always leave me with a feeling of positive anticipation. It's like stepping into a new world where every possibility is there for us to achieve if only we believe and try hard enough. Unfotunately (or fortunately?), 23 years on this earth has thought me at least one very important thing, you never know what you'll get. You plan and you dream and you work and you hope but most of the time you'll be very much surprised by the turn of events.

The disappointments, the failures, the hopelessness, the wanting-to-give-up, the why-does-everything-seems-to-go-wrong, the whatever and what the heck? Hehe. But so it seems, that the human spirit never ceased to amaze me. You somehow WILL find the strength and the courage to stand up and move on. Because frankly speaking, that's what life really is about don't you think? Keep Marching On.

And where is our destination? To God. Always to Him. Moving forward to Our Creator. Because in everything that we do, for every second that we spend on any endeavor, if it doesn't bring us closer to Him, is there any happiness left to hope for?

Here's to a brand new year, with a brand new hope and a renewed sense of faith.

Bring it on 2011! (like a new birth..^^,)

my craziness..huhu

its coming again. dont ask me why.huhu its just happen.as simple as that.im pretty sure u guys might be shocked whenever u see his talent.a gift i can say.huhu the first time i saw him in American Award, god i love his voice.this boy is sooooo cute. i am......aaa...i dont know what to say. u guys just watch all his videos. his voice is super duper awesome!ladies n gentlemen, i give u.....Greyson Chance, a 13 years old prodigious singer. catch his single, 'Waiting outside the lines'.

picking up myself

Sweeping off the cobwebs!

Trying to bring back the writing mood.

It's been a while...

Life is for rent

Life is for Rent
"Ya Tuhan kami. Berikanlah kami Rahmat dari sisi-Mu dan sempurnakanlah petunjuk yang lurus bagi kami dalam urusan kami" [al-Kahf:10]


i know He loves me.......and will always do

well, if i keep on behaving being more than a good muslim~~

"Segala sesuatu yang menimpa seorang muslim, baik berupa rasa letih, sakit, gelisah, sedih, gangguan, gundah gelana, mahu pun duri yang mengenainya (adalah ujian baginya). Dengan ujian itu,Allah mengampuni dosa-dosanya."

(Muttafaq 'alaih)

I’d love to share this hadith with u guys. What a good reminder,insyaAllah for those who always grumble and complain huhu especially me….. we should actually be grateful for the 'all that'. He gave us 'all that' for that He cares for us, which means that He always looks after us, for that He never forget us.. for that, soon He can reward us with His heaven..Subhanallah~ shame of me...T_T

Friday, January 14, 2011

Just so u know

just simple and short message here..
well, i dedicate this song(not-so-new-and-superevergreen-song)..especially for someone..a 'someone' that might or might not be reading my blog..
and i dedicate this for u guys too..
hoping that..well, at least, u guys already know whose dis song belongs to and u guys just rock my world..i love u all!
guess that's all for now..
when a song can tell more than a thousand words, i will just let it singing~~(Shayne Ward-All My Life)

I will never find another lover sweeter than you, sweeter than you
And I will never find another lover more precious than you, more
precious than you
Girl you are close to me you're like my mother,
Close to me you're like my father,
Close to me you're like my sister,
Close to me you're like my brother
You are the only one my everything and for you this song I sing

All my life I've prayed for someone like you

And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

I said you're all that I'm thinking of.....
Said, I promise to never fall in love with a stranger,
You're all I'm thinking of, I praise the Lord above,
For sending me your love, I cherish every hug,
I really love you

All my life,I've prayed for someone like you,
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you,
All my life I've prayed for someone like you

Yes I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do, love me too

You're all that I ever known, when you smile, on my face, all I see is a glow.
You turned my life around, you picked me up when I was down,
You're all that I ever known, when you smile your face glows
You picked me up when I was down
You're all that I ever known, when you smile on your face all I see is a glow,
You picked me up when I was down and I hope that you feel the same way
Yes I pray that you do love me too

All my life, I've prayed for someone like you,
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

Thursday, January 13, 2011

In a relationship

Now i'm "in a relationship" with Lesson Plan. huhu crazy huh! who cares!huhu u know why. because i keep thinking about 'him' day n nite, every single day n every second! god i'm truly in love! in love with 'Rancangan Pengajaran' huhuhu shitto. there's no cure. i'm sick lover. 'He' steal my freetime. 'He' never leave me alone. 'He' always by my side. even in my dream, i dream of 'him' gosh! i can't hide from 'him'. 'He' always chasing after me. really this is bizarre! huhu kalo lah 'he' ni org btul kan best.huhu im still waiting.T_T penantian satu penyeksaan. Thanx for Greyson for singing this for me "waiting outside the lines". i luv greyson. *luvluvluv*

Friday, January 07, 2011

oh boy~

god dis cuuutttteeee gabby chattering boy make me fall in love with him. i love this kiddo.damn.i wanna a baby like dis. haha thanx to kakcik n her famly 4 introducing dis lovely kid.i cant stop listening to this chatty. he so cute n gerammm tengok pipi dia. h0h0 suke dgr dia ckp."abangah gurau jer" *lovestruck*

Monday, January 03, 2011

random thought (part 2)

huhu wat a misery life i had. i got 2 pathetic things rite now. 1st is i 'have to' teach form 4 students (with all da degil2 one) and 2nd i miss someone who might not miss me at all.huhu uwaaaa...sdey2 (but i do really miss dat 'someone'..siao liao @_@) aigooo....='(

Sunday, January 02, 2011

LM oh LM! (part 2)

haha..ye ye jek part 2. di kala ke'cuak'an nih..tbe2 prangai jd x btui. huhu LM nih mbuat kmi rsa nk kawen. apa??kawen??haha aah kawen. plis somebdy tlg la kawen ngn dri ini skrg. kawen kontrak 4 bulan pon jdi la.haha i need hubby for 4 month. (truly ridiculous!lol) so sape y bminat sile lah berbuat demikian d talian hayat 012-984**** ( plis pm me k 4 full num..huhu) syarat utama satu jek, MUST STAY AT PENANG for 4 MONTH(simple je kan syrat die...huhu) sile2 mai2 terbuka kpd smua lelaki warganegra Malaysia shja...kedatgn anda sgt di alu2 kan.h0h0 (ini serius....nyanyi ala2 wonderpets=plol) siapa sanggup??

LM oh LM!

lembabnye usm ni bt kje. aisssyyy