I kind of hate to see my body and my face right now. Really.(huhu sy da jadi si buruk rupa dah=(() like one of the abuse victim.huhu too scared to look. But…this is only the physical outlook. Why on earth do I care this super petty things?..i too worried the scratches outside my body but have I ever worried the sratches ‘inside’ my body (HATI). There are like millions scratches(karat2 jahiliyah) ‘inside’ and I just too blind to see it. In fact I don’t even wanna see it ‘cause I know I’ve across the borderline. and I feel like there’s no way to turn back. I was so confused and only darkness embracing me.=’((
إِنَّ اللهَ لاَ يَنْظُرُ إِلَى صُوَرِكُمْ وَأَمْوَالِكُمْ وَلَكِنْ يَنْظُرُ إِلَى قُلُوبِكُمْ وَأَعْمَالِكُمْ
Maksudnya : Sesungguhnya Allah tidak melihat rupa paras kamu dan harta-harta kamu, akan tetapi Allah melihat hati kamu dan amalan-amalan kamu.
Hadis sahih riwayat Imam al-Bukhari dan Muslim.
Nevertheless, HE did coming. Only just in unexpected way which is only me whether or not to realise it..….i seek forgiveness from Allah. O Allah please forgive me. please please please..T_T But I know Allah loves me.(of course HE loves u t00) .Like HE always do. How? By giving me some ‘tests’. A friend of mine always said to me HE tests, means HE loves u. because HE got jealous seeing u spent most of your time with other things instead of being with HIM. Huhu again, I seek Allah’s forgiveness. I’m too careless(lagha). I’m merely human. Cannot run from doing mistakes. *I seek forgiveness from Allah*
~~in rehabilitation phase ~ please give me your guidance ~~
(Our Lord! we have indeed believed: forgive us, then, our sins, and save us from the agony of the Fire)
[surah Ali' Imran; 3:16]