hello world!

just as how u guys expected, another long (very long i might say..huhu) hiatus. its been ages i left my blog since the last post. i know i should be smacked for the sudden comeback and then the 'already expected' disappearance thereafter. i do apologize to him for the delay updates as he wants me to keep updating this blog.soriiii..huhu

so, this is it...soooooo many things happened during my disappearance. it is unpredictable. yes there are series of ups and downs, which i presume u are able to see that some posts are about some crazy stuff and some are just downright depressing. inconsistency. the day officially wraps up with some reflections. words, thought, action; they linger in my mind.

im facing lots of calamities. just that the impact is aggravated with this myriad of feelings. it has been many years that we've continued to stay strong. there were times i felt jaded that i didnt want to give anymore. there were also times where i convinced myself to bounce back by Faith. Faith is simple but rather complicated.

i felt rotten. inside. Brokenness, which will haunt me so long as i exist. my worthlessness. my vulnerability. my shame. im always stuck with predicaments that disrupt my relationship with HIM.=( shame me ;(.........

arghh i couldnt write anymore;( it makes my tears rolling down. i just hope for the miracle to happen....please;(

*still praying hard looking for HIS guidance*