student oh student(part 2)

i was s000 amazed of some of my students who are 'mix' (i mean kacukan la) some of them are 'chindian', 'indlay', 'chinlay' (even bumiputera like kadazan pon ade y kacuk ngn india, jadila 'kadadia' huhu) it's just not only that, the thing is they do know 3 or 4 languages( bhs cina, bhs india, bhs melayu n english) which is i think 'wow'..okey that was bonus point for them so they don't have to toil and moil like hell learning all that languages.*a bit jealous to them*huhu besides, we will be deceived by their face. seriously. when i look at them i was like, muke cam melayu tp india rupenye tp ckp cine aiyooo..pstu there's another person muke cam india tp nme cine then ckp mak aii pekat giler loghat utara die..huhu a bit funny huh. but thats the fact. In Penang there are a lot people like that (sbb sblm nih x penah jmp kn, juz tau theoretically jer.tu y cam teruja skjp.huhu) Allah is Great. Allah The Almighty.T_T HE did create us in various type and forms so we will know each other and then PRAISE HIM a lot.that's what makes us close to HIM. So, the one who should i amazed most is HIM. The Only One our LORD, ALLAH SWT. Have i praise HIM today? *seek forgiveness from Allah* forgive me for being astray and always wandered lost in the dark. forgive me for never thought about all the things you have given to me. I rarely thanked to you.Forgive me and forgive all the muslimin n muslimat.T_T ^^^^muhasabah diri^^^^^

miss

kind of miss my family now.lately i miss them a lot.they are everything to me.we will stick together no matter what.

F.A.M.I.L.Y is one of the strongest words anyone can say, because the letters of FAMILY means Father And Mother I Love You! ♥ :)

May Allah Bless us. Amin.

4E

dear blog,

up till now, teaching class 4E is my biggest problem.

sekian, terima kasih.

truly,

the-not-so-perfect-teacher

***i need psychotherapy class.not for my students but 4 me.somebody please help me.='(

rehabilitation part2

I kind of hate to see my body and my face right now. Really.(huhu sy da jadi si buruk rupa dah=(() like one of the abuse victim.huhu too scared to look. But…this is only the physical outlook. Why on earth do I care this super petty things?..i too worried the scratches outside my body but have I ever worried the sratches ‘inside’ my body (HATI). There are like millions scratches(karat2 jahiliyah) ‘inside’ and I just too blind to see it. In fact I don’t even wanna see it ‘cause I know I’ve across the borderline. and I feel like there’s no way to turn back. I was so confused and only darkness embracing me.=’((

إِنَّ اللهَ لاَ يَنْظُرُ إِلَى صُوَرِكُمْ وَأَمْوَالِكُمْ وَلَكِنْ يَنْظُرُ إِلَى قُلُوبِكُمْ وَأَعْمَالِكُمْ

Maksudnya : Sesungguhnya Allah tidak melihat rupa paras kamu dan harta-harta kamu, akan tetapi Allah melihat hati kamu dan amalan-amalan kamu.

Hadis sahih riwayat Imam al-Bukhari dan Muslim.

Nevertheless, HE did coming. Only just in unexpected way which is only me whether or not to realise it..….i seek forgiveness from Allah. O Allah please forgive me. please please please..T_T But I know Allah loves me.(of course HE loves u t00) .Like HE always do. How? By giving me some ‘tests’. A friend of mine always said to me HE tests, means HE loves u. because HE got jealous seeing u spent most of your time with other things instead of being with HIM. Huhu again, I seek Allah’s forgiveness. I’m too careless(lagha). I’m merely human. Cannot run from doing mistakes. *I seek forgiveness from Allah*

~~in rehabilitation phase ~ please give me your guidance ~~

(Our Lord! we have indeed believed: forgive us, then, our sins, and save us from the agony of the Fire)

[surah Ali' Imran; 3:16]

"shocked"

i got shocked news juz now. err..actually not dat shocked, i think dis is the funniest thing ever. huhu instead of being adik ipar, jadi kakak ipar plak dah. x ker klakar tuu. h0h0 pndai btui umi wat lawak. i know dis not gonna happen. da thng is joke y umi wat nih tickle my bone. ridiculous! kompem2 la kne reject. adoyaiii. lawak2. (kne bt back up plan nih..huhu kompem p isi borg kt british council after dis. so i can fly nxt year.bln januari jgk. h0h0h0h0)

Mr. Charlie

Thank you to Mr. Charlie aka Paederus fuscipes Curtis(scientific name) for 'kissing' me badly horrendously n beastly.damn! i got scratches all over my body. (abes calar2 wajahku y suci ini. huhu cali kejammmmm) it was like burning. pedih=(( i can't even touch on it. buruk daa muke ngn tangan ku. T_T i hate penang! or even worst, i hate usm.

~~heartsick~~

somebody got mad at me. huhu i don't laa. why is everybody get mad at me lately. starting this february i was like an annoying person. i don't know why. (maybe effect LM kot..huhu) i hurt them. And I realize that everything I do is affecting the people around me. it just happen like that. gosh! really bizzare. i feel like out of sorts. really depressing and dejecting. (da la sdey ngn 1st observation T_T) hope i'll find the cure. i need my personal doctor.huhu

*******Mr. MZ please sing Insya-Allah, it could be somewhat cheerie thingy for me.huhu

*******So I wanted to take this time out to apologize to everyone for things that I've done without realize it or not.

the one n only

i started missing 'my love'..the one and only. (tu la ade depan mate wat tatau, dah jauh mule la duk trigt2)damn! i'm annoying n bothersome person. i don't know how to appreciate people. but rather treat people like a heartless person. again damn! serve me right! please forgive me T_T i'm merely human cannot run from doing mistakes. i'm so sorry. i never meant to do so. sorry ='(( i need someone right now.......i'm super pathetic one! T_T

(T_T)

my first observation was suck! thanks 2 my students for ruin it. congrats to me for choosing the wrong topic today. and congrats to me for allowing my students speak Malay in class while the lecturer was there. wrong topic and wrong time. my voice is t0000 slow and soft (which is even me myself don't know which part is soft 'cause i'm like yelling and shouting at them every time in my class). so overall, everything suck! i was like to stop my degree here right now. so no more observation.huhu (cmne bley amek kos cigu nih...uwaaaa sdey tahap gaban....sdey sdey sdey. ) i was like to cry the whole day. **col (crying out loud..huhu) ='((

random thought (part 3)

its been a while.....almost 2 years dis person didnt give me a call. all of sudden few days ago dis person did. nothing bad about it just wondering.....huhu but dun worry no hard feeling, just remind me to something not belong to me. somehow i reminisced dis story.

CINTA TAK SEHARUSNYA MEMILIKI

Salman Al Farisi merasakan memang sudah waktunya menikah. Seorang wanita Ansar yang dikenalnya sebagai wanita mukminah lagi solehah juga telah mengambil tempat di hatinya. Tentu saja bukan sebagai kekasih. Tetapi sebagai sebuah pilihan dan pilihan yang dirasa tepat. Pilihan menurut akal sihat. Dan pilihan menurut perasaan yang halus, juga ruh yang suci.

Tapi bagaimanapun, ia merasa asing di sini. Madinah bukanlah tempat kelahirannya. Madinah bukanlah tempatnya tumbuh dewasa. Madinah memiliki adat, rasa bahasa, dan rupa-rupa yang belum begitu dikenalnya. Ia berfikir, melamar seorang gadis pribumi tentu menjadi sebuah urusan yang pelik bagi seorang pendatang. Harus ada seorang yang akrab dengan tradisi Madinah berbicara untuknya dalam khitbah. Maka disampaikannyalah gelegak hati itu kepada sahabat Ansar yang dipersaudarakan dengannya, Abu Darda’.

”Subhanallaah.. wal hamdulillaah..”, girang Abu Darda’ mendengarnya. Mereka tersenyum bahagia dan berpelukan. Maka setelah persiapan dirasa cukup, beriringanlah kedua sahabat itu menuju sebuah rumah di penjuru tengah kota Madinah. Rumah dari seorang wanita yang solehah lagi bertaqwa.

”Saya adalah Abu Darda’, dan ini adalah saudara saya Salman seorang Persia. Allah telah memuliakannya dengan Islam dan dia juga telah memuliakan Islam dengan amal dan jihadnya. Dia memiliki kedudukan yang utama di sisi Rasulullah Shallallaahu ’Alaihi wa Sallam, sampai-sampai beliau menyebutnya sebagai ahli bait-nya. Saya datang untuk mewakili saudara saya ini melamar putri anda untuk dipersuntingnya.”, fasih Abu Darda’ bicara dalam logat Bani Najjar yang paling murni.

”Adalah kehormatan bagi kami”, ucap tuan rumah, ”Menerima anda berdua, sahabat Rasulullah yang mulia. Dan adalah kehormatan bagi keluarga ini bermenantukan seorang sahabat Rasulullah yang utama. Akan tetapi hak jawab ini sepenuhnya saya serahkan pada puteri kami.” Tuan rumah memberi isyarat ke arah hijab, yang di belakangnya sang puteri menanti dengan segala debar hati.

”Maafkan kami atas keterusterangan ini”, kata suara lembut itu. Ternyata sang ibu yang bicara mewakili puterinya. ”Tetapi karena anda berdua yang datang, maka dengan mengharap ridha Allah saya menjawab bahwa puteri kami menolak pinangan Salman. Namun jika Abu Darda’ kemudian juga memiliki urusan yang sama, maka puteri kami telah menyiapkan jawapan mengiyakan.”

Jelas sudah. Keterusterangan yang mengejutkan, ironis, sekaligus indah. Sang puteri lebih tertarik kepada pengantar daripada pelamarnya! Itu mengejutkan dan ironis. Tapi saya juga mengatakan indah karena satu alasan; reaksi Salman. Bayangkan sebuah perasaan, di mana cinta dan persaudaraan bergejolak berebut tempat dalam hati. Bayangkan sebentuk malu yang membuncah dan bertemu dengan gelombang kesedaran; bahawa dia memang belum punya hak apapun atas orang yang dicintainya. Mari kita dengar ia bicara.

”Allahu Akbar!”, seru Salman, ”Semua mahar dan nafkah yang kupersiapkan ini akan aku serahkan pada Abu Darda’, dan aku akan menjadi saksi pernikahan kalian!”♥♥♥

Cinta tak harus memiliki. Dan sejatinya kita memang tak pernah memiliki apapun dalam kehidupan ini. Salman mengajarkan kita untuk meraih kesedaran tinggi itu di tengah perasaan yang berkecamuk rumit; malu, kecewa, sedih, merasa salah memilih pengantar –untuk tidak mengatakan ’merasa dikhianati’-, merasa berada di tempat yang keliru, di negeri yang salah, dan seterusnya. Ini tak mudah. Dan kita yang sering merasa memiliki orang yang kita cintai, mari belajar pada Salman. Tentang sebuah kesedaran yang kadang harus kita munculkan dalam situasi yang tak mudah.Sergapan rasa memiliki terkadang sangat memabukkan..

Rasa memiliki seringkali membawa kelalaian. Maka menjadi seorang manusia yang hakikatnya hamba adalah belajar untuk menikmati sesuatu yang bukan milik kita, sekaligus mempertahankan kesedaran bahawa kita hanya dipinjami. Inilah sulitnya. Tak seperti seorang tukang parkir yang hanya dititipi, kita diberi bekal oleh Allah untuk mengayakan nilai guna karuniaNya. Maka rasa memiliki kadang menjadi sulit ditepis.

student oh student

i don't know how to describe this feeling now. i start 'meet'ing my students everywhere.huhu i mean in penang la. wherever i go i still meet them. haishhh (bahaye nih..xleh nk wat jahat depan students.haha)

they were like, "hai ticer...ticer kuar ngn sape...ticer nk p mna....blablabla" huhu x tau nk hepi ke nk sedih ke ble students tgur tgh jalan.huhu..errr... coz when i met them i will act like a friend. but in school i did treat them as students. really like a student. huhu so it was like....am i have 2 personality?? or being hypocrite?? or double characters....huhu pelik2.

btw, its good of them la sbb rjin duk btegur sapa me tgh jalan.haha but be out of my way. juz feel unease. still dont get it why.err sori yea my studs. luv ya!hehe

holidays

i ruined my holidays. instead of being a marvelous hols it turned up to horrendous one. siao liao. aigoo T_T please forgive me='( i am what i am. i'm sick of being compared. i'm sorry. i got my own style n my own life. stop judging me!i'm sorry peeps 4 being such an annoying person. i luv people in my own way. sorry again.

mode: ggrrrr (angry)

f*** u pcik!!!!! tua x sdar dri.ak benciiii nek bas rapid.rmai gilerrr org.mai mna la smua mnusia nih.pstu hmpit2 org.wtf!!mmg sial la pcik tuh.helo ak pkai bju kurung okey.aaarrrgghhhhhh geram2. benci2. im gonna give BIG F word to that damn old man!!!!!.budusss